Follow through, Challenge, love and Cambodia.

This has been a fairly transformative year or so for me. 

           

At my birthday last year I decided that this year would be my year of follow through. I removed the word should from my vocabulary and instead followed through with the things I thought were important. Instead of saying I should eat healthier I challenged myself to eat healthier. Instead of saying I should exercise more often, I did it.  Instead of thinking ‘ I wish I was one of those people who ran and did yoga everyday’  I became that person. This year I worked on transforming myself into the the person I have always aspired to be. Then after all that follow through I decided this next year (2015-2016) would be my year of challenge. 

before I left Morocco in front of my house

in Cambodia with chips I ate in Morocco 

picking up our boss

         

 It’s been a long and a wonderful year and half or so. I didn’t do a response post to arriving in America after my Peace Corps service because it was hard. I didn’t really know what to write and on one hand I felt like my integration back to my home country was easy and fun but I had a rough and isolating winter last year. Luckily that ended and thawed into the best spring of my life. 

After a winter of buying way too many bra’s and working at a gas station I took a position at Nature’s Classroom in Connecticut. I have worked seasonally for all of my adult life ( barring my Peace Corps service) and this past spring was truly magical. I have never worked a season where so many people got along so well for so long. So much so that we still want to be around each other even a year later.

 You can call us Cultbrook but we prefer Soulbrook ;) I love my new Soulbrook family and they all made me a better person. I learned more about myself, I challenged myself, and I soaked in as much information as I could from their knowledge and expertise.

after a day of playing like children

Soulbrook on the stoop

         

     

As a community we challenged each other, supported each other and I know I’m better because of our time together. I didn’t know it but I had developed a  mistrust of men from my time Morocco- the nature of my co-workers helped me shake that off. I found my way back into my own country and learned what I valued, and what I loved about my home after being away for 2 years. I dove deep into the forest without shoes on , held wild snakes, did acrobatic tricks, sang everyday, slept in a hammock city, truly saw the wildflowers, stalked bobcats, played like a kid, learned the names of the trees and made America my home again. I  found my feet underneath me and I grew more confident. My new family helped me transform. 

the beginning of my headstand. 

          When the ground finally thawed my friends would kick off their shoes and scamper into the woods and as I watched them pick lines through the trees I decided that I wanted to be able to do that too. So I started running and eating better and exercising, I stopped making excuses and I made myself stronger. I spent months figuring out how to do a headstand. All in all in the past months I have found so much that’s important to me. I have a new love for myself , for nature and for my country. And then I left again. 

          

after months of effort- my headstand on top of mount lafayette in NH

Ha! Right now I am accepting a new challenge. Turns out I have never truly dated before and last fall while still at Nature’s Classroom I met this wonderful man Ox who wooed me but had already started planning this trip to Cambodia. When our time at Nature’s Classroom was over I still wanted to be with him so when he left at the beginning of this year I knew I would rather be with him in Cambodia then not be with him at all. It’s hard for me to leave the woods, and the mountains and the country I have fallen in love with again but I know it’s still there and I know this is where I belong right now. Cambodia and Ox are both incredibly wonderful. 

Moroccan Market

Cambodian Market

         Visually it reminds me a lot of Morocco- the store fronts, the traffic and the markets all echo Morocco’s aesthetic but that’s pretty much the end of the similarities.

Fruit in Morocco 

Fruit in Cambodia

 The food is so different and I love all of it- also I’ve started eating meat because even though it is a Buddhist country the majority of the food here relies on meat and I want to eat EVERYTHING. In my 2 weeks here I have not had a single meal that I haven’t liked if not loved- well besides the durian and the crickets I did not like the durian and I could take or leave the crickets- but everything else has been phenomenal. I feel much safer here then I ever felt in a Moroccan city, people smile a lot more at each other and I have had no street harassment besides a few kids asking for money at traffic lights and the tuk tuk (taxi) drivers asking me if I want a ride (because why would I want to walk anywhere ?!?! it’s hot out!). In the past two weeks I’m realizing I have some things still to resolve and process about my time in Morocco and how it made me feel. Being in Cambodia is helping me discover some of the things I learned during my time in Morocco because I obviously spent the last year learning to love my home and not exactly reflecting constantly on my Peace Corps service. Being in Cambodia makes me miss Morocco and I would be lying if I didn’t say I missed America a little- but mostly because I LOVE spring and I wish I could see the forest transform from a winters sleep into green and bloom. However I am so happy to be here and so grateful for all that I have experienced and everything leading up to this moment and all the new experiences to come. 

Ox and I in NYC before he left for Cambodia

Ox and I eating jellied coconut in Cambodia

          

Next week I’m going to be starting a TESOL course through a program called LC- Asia then get a teaching job here ( fingers crossed I will be getting a job teaching science). But in the meantime I am trying all sorts of new things, hanging out with some old Kingsley Pines friends- Kelsey and Brandon- and being with the lovely man that brought me to this country. I’m going to try and be more diligent then I was with my Peace Corps blogging, but we shall see what truly happens. I’ve been saying I was going to write this post for about 3 weeks now. This blog is a new challenge, and this is after all my year of challenge. 

Vietnamese Coffee with sweetened condensed milk

My first day in Cambodia

      

Trying Durian 

SE Asian Kingsley Pines Reunion! 

Crickets

Return

It has been several months now since I've returned to america and so far, more or less, it's been good.

Things are still shiny- I still get disproportionally excited about a big delicious cup of coffee or a 2 dollar taco or my beautiful new bra's and all they do for me.

Simultaneously a lot and very little has happened since my return. The holidays happened which were incredible and difficult. Incredible because I finally got to celebrate with family and friends and difficult because they had to live up to the expectations I have built up over 2 years in Morocco.

I got a part time job at a gas station and had to work christmas day, and as a child of school teachers I had no true way to deal with working on a holiday I had always had free my whole life.

I had to quit the part time gas station job because my body doesn't like standing still for 9 hours straight. It was sort of a disappointment. I kind of liked the work. I was busy most of the work day, I got to talk to lots of different people, the cash register was like a real-life Iphone game. I could see myself owning a little corner store like that some day (clearly with a different focus then 99 cent toquito's and frozen pizza's though). Often when I'm home I feel like I have no friends, because I have no social circle that remains here and I just sit at home feeling lonely – working at a place where more or less everyone has to stop meant that I got to see old teachers, classmates and got to make new friends. So on one hand while I continue to nurse my cranky upper back, I am grateful for my time there and I have a new found respect for people who work at places like that, standing all day on stupid mats that are supposed to help- by the way- every other country I've been to lets their tellers sit down.

Some things have been confusing me since being home. I'm not sure how I feel about wearing leggings and nothing over top of them especially in the winter time, though I've found some longer shirts that make me feel less exposed and I will probably jump on that bandwagon.

I am confused by commercials, though the more TV I watch the less ridiculous they seem. However, for the first 2 months commercials felt alien to me. The flashy BS that shows ridiculous juxtapositions between what we should want and how we should look and act confused me. Why do we need all this stuff? I will admit, though, that I watched some of the super bowl commercials the other day online- it's absurd how quickly these 30 second to 1 minute absurdities hawking cars and soda's and banks and a plethora of superfluous shenanigans become normal.

I don't know if this has been a natural progression for me or if I just expect more from my country after being in a country with so little infrastructure and work for its 'common man'; but one of the things that has been most upsetting and difficult for me to understand is what people are willing to do and not do for their jobs. I am having a lot of trouble understanding why a community of workers would accept not taking lunch breaks or smoke breaks or why we as a society accept how little some people are paid and how much they are expected to work. This year people had to choose between spending Thanksgiving with their families or making extra money and working at a box store so we consumers could get “good deals” a few hours earlier. WTF. I'm confused why there is so little opportunities for people to work and get paid enough to survive and why we still accept that sick people should have to go bankrupt to get the care they need. This is a whole other topic entirely but I'm also confused why people don't realize that big change takes time and is going to be messy (this is specifically in regards to the health care system that is being overhauled through the affordable care act).

America isn't so different from when I left it- sure the cracker aisle of the supermarket looks pretty different, there's more types of Arizona Iced tea but I think as a whole I feel like I'm back - capital “H”- Home. I love the Berkshires and the things the people of this community are working to achieve. I go to a monthly barter market, I've met young farmers and homesteaders, young professionals and motivated community builders, there's beautiful and welcoming public spaces and delicious restaurants with thoughtful menus, open mic nights and contra dances. It seems to me that at least here people are working towards things I value- community, sustainability, and building up local products and traditions. I love the Berkshires- to me it seems like the perfect middle ground between country and city- there's hiking, and lots of nature but there's still concert venues, an arts and entertainment industry and you can easily get to metropolitan area's by bus or train. I don't know if I'll ever truly be able to afford to live here full time- but we'll see.

I do miss Morocco a lot- I miss having my own house, I miss my town being a compact little thing that means I can walk everywhere. As much as I love having all the groceries I could want available to me all the time I miss my weekly souk and buying vegetables by the kilo and walking home with them in my hiking pack. I miss how connected I felt to people. I miss the freedom of interacting with people on my own time, instead of theirs. I miss my site mate, my stajmates, my Peace corps and moroccan friends, I miss the sunsets and the mountains and public transportation.

I do not miss doing laundry by hand, being cold inside during the winter and having to feel anxiety about how I dressed and how I interacted with men. I love the individual freedoms I have here and how I can express myself how I choose once again- I love talking about things like hetero normative values and environmental sustainability. I love the familiarity and history I have with people and old friends and how easy it is to talk to people. I love the value Americans give to independences and uniqueness and creativity. I'm totally adrift about what I want to do and how I want to fit in here long term- but I am really thankful to be home.

Here's some pictures of my last few months being home and how I feel about America:

Beer and Iphones- AMERICA! 

Goodnight Moon! America appreciates literature

individual freedoms- we have them. 

mom and I had a table at a craft fair- we sold very little, but it was fun to be in my elementary school and see local people I used to see often. 

New york city in the snow- pretty awesome. 

new years day hike with good friends. 

snow is my favorite. It is gorgeous here. I'm getting to go cross country skiing once again! 

live music? heck yes!! Gandalf Murphy and the Slambovian Circus of Dreams less then 30 minutes from my house. 

my list post

so... things are definitely winding down here. I'm starting to say goodbye to people. I've had to start thinking of things as my 'last'. It's weird to consider that two years are almost over. next week I need to start packing my house over to my site mates and in 9 days I get on a bus to check out in rabat and then in 13 days I board a plane and head home. Holy Cow. This is obviously a highly complicated time so I thought I'd keep this post a little less rambly and a little more cut and dry. so here's that. enjoy!

Things I am going to miss about morocco

-       The kindness and generosity of strangers here

-       How people just give you things for free all the time

-       How little kids need to be entertained ( ie piece of carboard, rocks, candy wrappers) and how parents/adults don’t feel the constant need to be shoving entertainment in kids faces

-       How total strangers will often share food or cold water with you on a hot day or a long trip

-       Sleeping outside in my courtyard for most of the year

-       Going shopping at weekly souks

-       Fruits that are hard to come by stateside- fresh figs, fresh dates, excessive amounts of pomegranates, cactus fruit and fresh apricots (that come with the added bonus of being called mish mash)

-       How being a vegetarian finally pays off ( meat should be more expensive than produce people! )

-       The food- especially Cous cous, msimin/milwi (ie fried bread) and rfisa

-       Donuts and bread and all sorts of other random stuff available for next to nothing on the street

-       Having my own kitchen and having the time to cook and experiment

-       Having my own house

-       How people aren’t plugged in all the time
-    When interacting with teenagers especially girls - I like how in morocco body image and self esteem aren't the first issues that come up. It's really liberating 

-       Knowing people in town- ie my veggie guy, my cookie ladies, my taxi guy etc…

-       Having time to do excessive amounts of crafts

-       Doing yoga in my courtyard

-       The stars! And the meteors/shooting stars

-       Not being stressed about time or money generally speaking

-       Public transportation, cheap taxis and being able to walk places

Things I am not going to miss about morocco

-       F*%#ing flies

-       The water going out for many hours and/or days at a time

-       Sharing water bottles and water glasses with anyone and everyone

-       People coughing on me/ people not covering their mouths when they sneeze or cough

-       The way adults physical discipline children

-       Lack of trash/litter infrastructure and etiquette ie people just throwing trash everywhere.

-       People throwing up on public transport

-       People invading my personal space on public transport

-       Unwanted attention/harassment
-    Ryals- I hate doing math to go shopping- royals are not a real currency just use dirhams!

-       Not having all the produce I may want at any given time

-       Shitty internet

-       How people let their cell phones ring loudly and for a long time and also just pick it up whenever they choose for example when we are in the middle of a conversation, while they are driving a very crowded taxi etc etc… (but the Christmas ring tones are great, I personally have heard silent night, jingle bells, frosty and rudolph)

-       People taking craft projects out of my hands or bag to work on them…. I do not share my crafts well.

-       Having to “dance monkey dance” every time I need to do simple things such as shopping (ie bargaining ) or having to deal with my mumbling incomprehensible bank/post office guy for 30 minutes just to take out my money

-       Being constantly asked about my child and marital status.

-       Feeling anxious about what I wear every time I leave the house

-       Paying 1/3^rd of my rent for a bottle of booze

 Things I am looking forward to Stateside

-       Trees!

-       Hiking trails

-       Getting to dress however I want and not feeling too weird about it

-       The accessibility and ease of things- ie no one giving a shit (no harassment)

-       Big cups of delicious coffee

-       Chinese, Mexican, Japanese, and Indian food- let’s be honest how much variety there is in food

-       Intentional vegetarian cuisine- not just a meal that’s been cooked without meat

-       Living in a more secular culture again

-       Better craft supplies ( I cannot wait until my first shopping trip to a yarn store- it’s going to get crazy!) 

-       Heating and hot showers

-       Simple meals and the novelty of cooking things from scratch instead of always having to cook things from scratch

-       No one paying me excessive unwanted attention

-       The familiarity

-       Family and Friends!

hahah. oops. yeah. i haven't updated in forever.

As it has recently been brough to my attention it has been months since I last updated my blog. I believe this is because I have settled into the “norm” of my life in morocco, and as a result forget that you all aren’t over here with me and as a result have no idea what’s going on with my life.

In the past three months I have experienced another Ramadan (filled with breaking fast with my host family and friends here in site as well as making my own delicious smoothies and lots and lots of figs) . I also got to visit my host family in fez again, scored intermedieate mid on my Arabic language skills, crocheted like a mad woman , worked 2 separate camps, made a pretty basket bag, attended my close of service conference, and just generally hung out, finished the lord of the rings books, ate good food, cooked some new food and watched a few good movies and tv shows.

My service is winding down. At my count I only have 43 days left in morocco or something in that ballpark. I officially fly out of morocco on the morning of November 14^th and I ‘ve already started assembling my baggage, and considering what will and wont try and get crammed into my bag to come back home with me, and what will stay to be hopefully enjoyed by another volunteer.

I want to do a list post in the near future about things that I love and will miss about morocco, as well as things I’m looking forward to when I return home. But this Is not that post. I want to put some thought into that one, and this post is mostly just to let you all know that I am still alive and update you a little bit about my life.

The summer was hot- 101 degrees in my house every day for 2 weeks hot. I put my travel clock/thermometer in the sun for 5 minutes and it jumped up to 112 degrees, so to say the least I was quite warm. I took lots of naps. I covered myself with wet sheets, and slept restlessly. Ramadan was an enjoyable time (despite the heat) and I was able to spend time both alone and with people in my community. After breaking fast one night with a friend I got accidentally moroccoed and ended up cleaning a friends house for several hours with a large group of women. I didn’t realize that was what I was going to be doing, and it was muggy work pushing water from the roof to the garage, but it was with some wonderful people and it was actually surprisingly fun, and I got cous cous after…. Anything can be made better with cous cous. (something I am seriously going to miss when I leave, and before you say it, the cous cous available in the states isn’t the same)

Ramadan was also my time of yoga (which because of travels and camps has fallen out of habit) I loved doing yoga everyday in my courtyard and even got to see some shooting stars while holding triangle. I am really excited to build on my practice, and I figure 5 weeks on of yoga, 5 weeks off (now more like 7 oops) and when I get back home I can go to yoga classes as well.

I also got to attend a friends wedding over here-  it was fun. Moroccan/Berber weddings are really interesting and filled with traditions and practices I still don't really understand, and no one seems to be able to explain fully. But I got to wear my jlaba’s got some henna done and did a lot of floor sitting. After 10 hours or so of sitting on the ground my body felt like it had been sent through the dryer with rocks in it, but it recovered , and as it was only my second , and probably , last wedding in morocco I still had a lot of fun.

It’s weird being so close to the end. I’m calling this my “shiny” period, and as my friend sarah has said, nostalgia is a powerful thing. This close to the end it’s easy to forget all the times I felt insignificant, useless, full of doubt and wondering what I was even doing here. I’m at a point where things that might have annoyed me 5 months ago are just morocco being morocco and I’m enjoying them for what they are (oh… you don’t know when the vacation is for your biggest holiday because you don’t actually know what day that holiday is yet that is 13  or so days away… oh… morocco… ha ha….. the time is changing, oh just kidding it’s not… daylight savings is totally arbitrary… oh morocco. Etc etc) so that’s kind of fun. It’s ridiculous that 2 years is almost over, and I guess I’m older and wiser but who knows if that’s actually true. Peace corps says that it is  "the hardest job you'll ever love" and I don’t know how I feel about that saying- but I will say that I have loved my time in morocco, and I’m going to miss it mightily. At this moment I’m not really ready to leave, but I am also ready to be home.

2 years feels simultaneously an eternity and a blink- but I think the timing is perfect. The sine wave that is the emotional roller coaster of this journey is definitely ending at the top of the hill, where I can look back fondly on the peaks and valleys of these last 27 some months.

Sorry for the radio silence, and enjoy some random pictures from the last few months! And look forward to another post in the nearer future.

making my basket bag at the girls craft camp

the view from the roof (ie my bedroom) at the leadership camp

a picture from last year, teaching the alphabet in my mumu

doing yoga with the girls at the craft camp

the 28 remaining pcvs at our cos conference, we are an attractive bunch

metal and mosque 

look at that view

i ended up singing with the band at a bar in rabat. i disappointed because I don't know any bob marley songs....  but it was still fun

long time no write

In my head this blog post is going to be witty and on point and interesting for everyone to read. In reality this will probably just be another rambly account of my pretty boring life.

Something I will talk about briefly is nesting- or at least my experience of it.

While meeting the group of new volunteers I have a tendency to say that " I like living in morocco, because I've never lived anywhere before" someone was confused and asked me what that meant- and what that means that as a touring or seasonal worker I, more often then not am living with the people I work with- sure Saint Mike's Playhouse is in Winooski, but with only a few days or afternoons off here and there I never really got to see Burlington or Winooski. At camp, I would never ever trade the idyllic little place I call home for 3 months each summer, but I am not living in Raymond or Portland, I am living at camp, a temporary community we create for ourselves. Even in college, we were a temporary and time-framed community of people, being a residential campus I never really left, and when I did, it was for my seasonal summer work or family vacations. On the other end of this crazy time framed lifestyle I did live and grow up in the same place, I still run into classmates in teachers whenever I go home, but it's not the same.

Morocco is the first time I have had my own house, my own kitchen, my own wardrobe (and not just a suitcase). I have my regular grocery store, and the regular place I buy my bread, I walk by places and I know their names, and they know mine. I feel like I'm part of the community, I go home at the end of a day, or trip to the store and get to sleep in my bed, I get to cook food in my kitchen. As much as I love travelling and moving around and my seasonal life style I have fallen in love with my nesting love affair with being somewhere. As a result of this I have not done a lot of travelling while I've been in morocco. first off it's a pain in the butt to get out of town and then an even bigger pain in the butt to get over the mountains, imagine every time you wanted to go on vacation you needed to spend 6 hours in a bus going over round up and down a bajillion mountains. So there's that. I've already told people that I know I'm going to regret no travelling more in my time here, because tickets to get back are expensive, but I guess as long as I already know that's how I'm going to feel, then it's ok. Also I'm totally dependent on my current dirham (not dollar) income, so no international trips for me, at least not until I leave.

Dont worry all of you out there who have this image of me just sitting in my house crocheting and going for walks around town for the next 6 months. I do have plans to travel, just nothing to crazy and nothing too far. My goal this summer (which might be a crazy however well intended one) is to try and visit people in my region- I say this is crazy because it's wicked hot here in the summer and travelling isn't fun and it's illogical to go even further south as the temperatures rise.  I'm hoping to hike mount toubkal (the tallest mountain in north africa) this month, as well as visit a friend, and then I have plans for the end of august, and then our close of service conference in september. I just need to figure out july, maybe I'll get myself to a beach, or create a beach in my courtyard. We shall see.

In other news a few weeks ago we had our regional meeting where I finally got to meet the other new volunteers in my region- the new culture/environment the new volunteers have created is much more positive and energetic then the one I came in on I think, so that's fun. We had a nice day in a pretty hotel doing model UN and talking about local activities and projects and then went to one of the movie studios, touting such films as Asterix and Obelix Anthony and Cleopatre (my favorite french comedy), jewel of the nile and some others- other things filmed in morocco were game of thrones (check out episode 7 or 8- that's my region and contains lots of berber symbols!) salmon fishing in the yemen, the then commandments, the mummy and tons more. It was cool to see the studio, though it was kind of falling apart.

The only other thing occupying my time has been crochet. My goal this summer is to make a blanket, and I'm a little bit around 1/3rd of the way there. It's been fun, and I love having a big project/goal.

so that's it for now- maybe I'll actually try and update more regularly. we shall see, so many empty promises.

game of thrones, possibly quarth?

just getting to know a statue

me in asterix and obelix! egypt or something

me and a bag that i made when i decided i didn't want to use it for my blanket

me and my yarn

the beginnings of my blanket

all of my squares are finished!!!! 

the circles and flowers

raised flowers

granny squares

flowers!!!! so cute. 

helloooooo!

hello dear blog world.

i have had so many intentions this month for this blog. i had half of a blog post in word and then my hard drive got cranky and when i restarted my computer the document didn't restore.

so for this month i had been wanting to put up a video blog from my trip over a month ago to a waterfall.. that still hasn't happened.

it's been a very religious-kind of month this so far and i've wanted to write about that. still hasn't happened.

i thought it would be fun to do a food/cooking video post and i'm glad that didn't happen because in my attempt to make delicious beet carrot orange juice my blender's engine kicked it and it would have been pretty obvious to you all that my kitchen is pretty sad and i had no idea what i was doing. i have a little extra funds so i'm going to start looking for nicer blender... i wish i could get a food processor, i'm not holding my breath on that one. but i might make a video tomorrow when i do my cooking adventure. we'll see. that might not ever happen either.

I've had a  lot of luck this month and have been able to have great skype converstations/hangouts with friends and family which has been great. I love skype and I really love having internet. I don't know what's going to happen in the summer. it's possible the heat will melt my usb so we'll see.

Tomorrow i'm hoping to tidy up my house some more, and then make a shit ton of food. this week at souk (market) there were a lot of vegetables, i got really really lucky and was able to get LETTUCE! i'm so excited Most of the time I don't mind the things I can and cannot get in terms of vegetables and fruits but man. i want lemons... i want shrimp... i want more lettuce and cauliflower... also i miss planning, or buying things in a normal way. this week i ended up with a lot of vegetables and then got home and realized i had no idea what to do in terms of a cohesive menu with all the random vegetables i got. also a few weeks ago i was able to get collard greens/moroccan's version of kale and it hasn't come back since and it is so sad. i made this delicious and simple dish collards sauteed with a ton of garlic and onions then served on pasta with just a little bit of vinegar and some grated cheese... holy cow. one of the most delicious things i've ever made. i dream of it still. soooo... i'm hoping that i can rekindle the feeling of  fresh, healthy and simple by making fresh spring rolls with peanut sauce tomorrow afternoon.. i think i'm in it to win it because i have beets, carrots, string beans, lettuce, fresh mint, strawberries and tomorrow morning hopefully a cucumber.  I'm also soaking some barley overnight and last week i bought an extra box of oats and a new thing of honey, i got some walnuts and i am going to make some granola! hopefully... this could be great or terrible.

I'm realizing now food is a lot of what i think about. food is so fascinating. We all need to eat it. but it is such a crazy thing. when i was vegan everyone was always up my ass about the food i was or wasn't eating. i like to eat food. it gets me into trouble (read weight gain), it pre-occupies so much of my time.  it's hard not to have an unhealthy relationship with food. during my service i get all feast and famine. one week i eat nothing but popcorn and bread and pasta with cheese sauce. the next i'm making quiche's and juices and salads and getting crazy. I need to be more consistent. so yes.

also there is some weird smell in my bedroom. i'm congested and i had been very unwashed so when i was playing the "what's that smell, and where's it coming from" game i was a contendor but now that i am no longer in the running (having showered and perfumed myself very nicely) i am thoroughly confused and annoyed. i'm beginning to think it's the neighbors. the wall next to my bed leads into my neighbors courtyard where they keep the animals. so i'm hoping that it's that.

so... here's a rambly completely tangential blog post for you all. maybe i'll write a real one tomorrow. or later this week. or something. It's not really an excuse because i'm not actually that busy but in terms of my service this is the busiest i have ever been . i have classes 5 days a week and i've been teaching the women at the women's center how to do bead crochet which has been fun. ok. so later this week i will post pictures of my bead crochet activity, my new mason jar holder i made, as well s maybe some of the food i'm constantly going on about and maybe me cooking in my kitchen. hooray for non committal irrelevant blog posts! 

so... here we are

So peace corps is filled with ups and downs and currently I’m in an upward slant. It’s a combination of finally having work, having work come to me directly and a nice blend of good feelings and mild apathy for the things that I’ve come to accept will not be happening for me here. Apathy may sound like a strong word, but it’s important for me to really be at peace with the things I have available to me for the rest of my service.

A few weeks ago a group of 15 or so boys came to me and asked if I would teach them English three times a week, so that was exciting! I’ve never been approached to do work for someone before, and it’s incredible how different those classes are compared to my other classes where there isn’t a level of commitment or they are there because they feel like they have to be. The latter (the ones who feel like they have to be there) applies to my classes at the student boarding house, they are a tough group of kids- last year was equally as challenging and I was hoping that this year would be easier and after 1 full week of classes it is proving to be equally as difficult. This year is especially challenging because there is a ton of crap in the classroom, so the already small space is now halved. So that’s fun to deal with. Also my youth center has put plywood over all the windows instead of trying to fix them because 75%-85% of the window panes have all been broken.  So now I work in a drug dealers house. It’s kind of annoying because the windows are too high for me to reach so I have to stand on a chair to open them, and I have to open them otherwise my classroom is pitch black, so that’s fun. Luckily I now have all the desks I need, a black board that more or less works, and at least with the windows open it feels nice, breezey and spring-like in there on Saturday afternoons while I wait in vain for my students to arrive.

I also cleaned my house for realsies this week, and as much as I didn’t mind having a messy house/room/kitchen it’s crazy how nice it is to have a clean room. In bad news on that front, part of the reason I was procrastinating on cleaning was because now I feel like I can take a puppy into my house. There’s a little dude that I’ve gotten to know pretty well, I’ve named him Achilles because the poor little muffin has broken back right leg. Because he’s hurt he hasn’t moved in the past week, so every day I get to visit him and say hello and hang out, he’s a bit of a biter but I’m trying to work on that. Today I’m going to see if there’s someone in town who can help him, because I’m not 100% sure what to do. It’s hurting my moral fiber that I can’t just scoop him up and take him to a vet. It’s been inspiring though, Moroccans can be kind of cruel to dogs, throwing rocks at them,  ignoring them, screaming in fear even when they approach them with wagging tails. It ‘confuses me that people think dogs are mean when I’ve seen dogs on the street that have sat calmly while some kids have clearly drawn on them with marker- a mean dog would not let that happen. Anyways. Achilles has been being taken care of and looked after by a lot of the butchers in the area, he always has food, and oftentimes a little bowl for water. It’s nice to see people helping an animal in need, even an animal they don’t particularly care for. The other day I played with Achilles for an hour and one guy was like “you should take him home” and let me tell you- it’s taking a lot of will power for me not to take him in.  Next week I have to travel to Marrakech and we shall see how he’s doing when I get back. 

            I’ve been keeping busy with work and craft projects and soon I will be doing teaching a group of women from my womens center how to make bead crochet bracelets, so that should be good, well hopefully good, and if it’s not good it will be a spectacular failure, which I am ok with. So here’s some pictures of Achilles and me buying carpets.